


Meanings

by Azazel_Shaaryn



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, M/M, One Shot, Which is pretty much the Lego Movie, more like embarassing conversation, secret meeting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23771026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azazel_Shaaryn/pseuds/Azazel_Shaaryn
Summary: Batman find Robin watching an interview of Superman, which is ... fine. He isn't jealous.The least bad news is: he's talking about past greatest enemies. They need to speak, but not because he needs help, that's preposterous.The meeting is scheduled before the end of the hour.
Relationships: Batman/Joker, Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	Meanings

The warehouse was dark and gloomy, as he liked them. Just the place for secret meetings and awful secrets. Perfect then for what he intended to do – a shiver ran through his body at the thought – and remote enough to hopefully hide who he was meeting with. What a mess. This was why Batman didn’t do -ships or feelings. Dealing with them was just embarrassing and ended badly, proof: it got him there. He could feel the beginning of a brooding mood settle on him when a cheerful voice interrupted.

“You called?”

And here he was, the arrogant fool that Batman did not like at all. Fists on his hips, back straight and chin raised, Superman floated behind him.

“So, what can I help you with?” He smirked at him as he gracefully fell to the ground. “For you to call … this must be about something really important and yet I see no danger?”

That little shit. He was absolutely mocking him. He kept himself from pinching the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

“I … have to … speak with you about … something.” There, perfect, every word chosen carefully.

“Oh? Do tell me.” The alien paused and frowned. “Is this about the JL’s parties?”

This time he couldn’t keep himself from facepalming. No this wasn’t about that, thanks for the reminder, it was about far worse. Something of his gloom must have shown on his face because Superman seemed suddenly a lot more concerned about what they were doing there.

“Is everything alright?” He flew around the warehouse, checking it in a few seconds before coming back to the ground. “Is this about your new family? Everyone’s okay?”

This had to be the worse idea he ever had, and he remembered some that were already pretty terrible.

He raised his hand to stop the onslaught of questions he could feel coming and braced himself.

“No.” He took a breath and tried not to think of the fact that it would take him five seconds to jump and disappear in the fumes of a – not deadly of course – kryptonite smoke bomb. “You’ve had greatest enemies before, right?”

Superman drawled a _yes_ , clearly not seeing were this was going.

Here was the hard part. “How did you both deal with the fact that you … fought around? And what happened when you had a disagreement about the fact that you were greatest enemies?” There, everything in a smooth if slightly quick question.

He felt like disappearing. Or drowning his thoughts in hard rock. What the hell was he doing here.

“What?” Superman seemed flabbergasted, looking at him with widening eyes, feet hovering lightly above the ground in surprise. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying here.”

He mostly looked like he could see what he meant but didn’t want to go there.

“I saw your interview about Zod, you know what I mean.” Batman deadpanned. “You must have hated each other a lot at one point. How did you deal with it?”

The alien looked on the verge of panic now.

“This … I think there has been a misunderstanding. When I say Zod was my greatest enemy, I mean that our fights were some of the most difficult and horrifying I ever had.”

Batman nodded at that, glad they were finally on the same page.

Superman looked pained. “No no don’t nod, that’s … I don’t mean anything else by what I’m saying right now, this is straightforward.”

Now, it was Batman’s turn to be lost. He was straightforward too when he thought of his hate for the Joker. Because there was nothing else behind.

Superman resumed before he could speak.

“The fact that we … fought around …” He seemed a little choked up. “… didn’t matter since our status of greatest enemies was just about … difficulty in battle.”

Oh. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Superman grimaced. “That actually explain so much.”

“Is that the same for everyone in the JL?” This was so surprising that he couldn’t even feel embarrassed. “That’s why when you won you put him in the Phantom Zone.”.

“I’m pretty sure, yes.” He stopped suddenly, seemingly struck, and grumbled something about Flash and cold before becoming audible again. He definitely looked paler than when he arrived. “It looks like I can’t help you. This was nice, really, not too much information at all, my god, so I’m going to … go … and we’ll talk … later? Not about this. At the next JL reunion. So. Bye. Good luck. Don’t destroy the city while going at it. God.”

He disappeared in a rush a wind.

All this despair at the thought of this meeting and it had been incredibly unhelpful. Who would have thought Batman was so good at vigilantism that no one had villains quite like him. Well, a villain.

Maybe next time he would ambush Flash and ask him, since Superman seemed to think he might know something. Take Robin with him and make it into a shared activity, ambushing other heroes. Good training and perturbing enough that the line of questioning wouldn’t seem to emotional. Perfect.

But for now, patrol. He had a clown to find.

**Author's Note:**

> I was trying to put myself in the mood to write in the Destiny series and I ended up watching the Batman Lego Movie, which I like a lot (because what they did with the Joker and Batman relationship is hilarious, I love it) but isn't quite what I needed. So, I ended up writing this, I hope you liked it!


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